After reading through my last few blog posts, I came to realize that the tone of my writings had become somewhat negative when describing my experiences of the past few months. Based on the feedback that I received, many people seem to have gotten the wrong impression from my post “Game Over”; some assumed that I was going to completely give up making music. Let me assure you: nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I’m about to become more active than I’ve ever been.

One of the most important realizations I’ve had in a long time occurred at the time that I wrote “Game Over”; in order to sculpt a better future, you have to break the mold of the past. I was so fixated on trying to “make it” in the German music industry (the reason I left my home in America over 20 years ago), I had forgotten why I became a musician in the first place: to make music! My obsession with trying to find a “true believer” – someone in the the music industry machine who not only recognized my talent, but believed they could make money off of it – had kept me from my true calling.

I had discussions with some people who gave me a sobering assessment of my chances achieving a breakthrough in this business in Germany; no chance. Ironically, that alone was not the problem; I had always been aware of the disadvantages I had in trying to establish myself here as a pop star (my age, my personality, my versatility, etc.) The real kicker came when it was suggested to me by a potential manager that not only were my looks, talent, charm and personality “not enough to get the breakthrough” that I was looking for over here, but in order to get that breakthrough, I would have to return to making a style of music that I stopped making back it the 90s, in order to sound more “modern” and fit in the current music industry trends.

It was that assessment, as well as a series of disappointing setbacks at the hands of so-called “friends” already established in the industry that led me to the decision to abandon my goal of breaking into the German music business as a solo artist. I was always taught never to compromise myself as an artist just to fit in with what everyone thinks is cool and how people think I should sound, and I’ve spent my entire career up to this point following the advice of people who tried to make me into something I’m not, so deciding to let it go of my dream of making it, while difficult emotionally, was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, because suddenly my mind and my heart was free for music again.

Breaking with the past helped me look into the future with a new pair of glasses. My optimism has been restored, and I’m creative again. I’m collaborating with more people, just enjoying the experience of making music, not as a job, but as an extension of me. Best of all; I’m rediscovering my instrument, exploring new ways to work with my voice. Of course I’m writing new material, and at the same time working hard to get my current material in the hands of as many people as possible. It only took a few verbal slaps in the face to achieve that. Thank you, universe!

Life is a 12-round boxing match; it’s only round four for me. Fight!



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It came during my weekly teaching session. During my break I received a call that I had been waiting on for some time. As is so often the case in life , one prays for the best but expects, even counts on, the worst; my gut feeling told me that even though previous conversations with this person were from my perspective very promising [wishful thinking?], this conversation would have a negative outcome. Unfortunately, my gut was right.

For many artists, especially in the performing arts, one of the hardest things to cope with is the notion that people are not interested in you or what you do. Even worse: the knowledge that these people are indeed interested in you, but for one reason or another will not invest the time, energy or resources to help you further your career. It doesn’t matter if it’s the audience that one performs in front of, or the many entertainment industry ‘gatekeepers’ (managers, label bosses, producers, directors, agents, PR people, etc.) that can be the key to a successful career; artists need, even thrive on, attention. These gatekeepers are the ones who determine whether or not an artist gets this kind of attention, and if they do not believe in you, a career in the spotlight is nearly impossible to establish.

After years of trying to find such a support mechanism in the German music industry machine, a sad and inconvenient truth finally caught up with me: they’re not into what I have to offer.

No matter what I’ve done or how hard I’ve tried, the gatekeepers, movers and shakers in this industry don’t want me. It’s a lot like being in love with someone who doesn’t like you; no matter how hard you try, there’s nothing you can do to get them interested in you. The revelation of this truth last night was especially difficult to process, given that I’ve spent the past 15 years of my life trying to establish myself as a recording artist in this country, always telling myself that there is a market in Germany for the kind of music I make. [My pursuit of this dream is the main reason why I made Germany my permanent home.]

Last night’s conversation was the final piece of evidence that my belief and reality do not quite match up, and the reason for my decision to give up my dream of a career in the recording industry.

Does this mean that I will completely give up making music? Of course not! Quite the contrary; I’m more determined than ever to broaden my musical horizons and to continue to develop my skills. In my relentless pursuit of a place at the German music industry table, I become the musician I’ve always wanted to be, and for that I’m grateful. Thanks to the Internet, I can bring my passion directly to those who will appreciate it the most.

I’m at a point in life now where I have no further interest in begging for acceptance into a club that doesn’t want to offer me membership. I’m okay with that.

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It’s been six weeks now since I last appeared on television. I was only on ‘The Voice Of Germany’ for a total of three shows, had little presence in the media (compared to Nina Kutschera, Michael Schulte or Percival) and an above average social media presence. Yet the few times I was on TV seemed to have made an impression on quite a few people. That was the reason I wanted to do the show all along; to attach a face to the voice that Germany has heard for so many years, but never knew who it was.

With this recognition comes a new set of challenges. It’s no secret that in Germany, being on a casting show is a cardinal sin for many pro musicians, given the horrible reputation that reality TV in Germany has, specifically music-related shows like ‘Deutschland Sucht Den Superstar’ (for my English-speaking readers: the German version of ‘American Idol’). For years, German TV audiences have been conditioned to think that only young, inexperienced, not very bright amateurs are allowed to participate in such competitions, and though ‘The Voice Of Germany’ did a lot to raise the reputation of the music casting show format, it did little to change the stigma that such a show places on its contestants. In other countries, being in such a show is considered a privilege; if you are talented, you go on TV. It’s a given. In Germany, the opposite is the case; ‘no one with true talent goes on such a show’ is the common wisdom. Until TVOG, people with “real talent” were turned away in droves. The show definitely changed many attitudes about how German audiences perceive what a television talent show could be like, but the perception problem is still there.

Hence my dilemma. Although the wider public has now seen what I and many of my friends and colleagues can do, it seems that the German media in general will not allow some of us to capitalize on our new found recognition, at least without certain strings attached. The praise that I have received from many viewers has not (yet) translated into interest from the German media machine in the form of radio airplay, offers for further TV appearances or interest from the press, leaving me to wonder if the whole experience – despite having reached people who would have otherwise never heard of me – was really worth it.

There are some signs that this experience will benefit me in ways other than growing my fan base, but that’s the subject for another day. I believe there are other, more cynical reasons why certain types of reality TV shows do more to hurt artists than help them, and that is topic of my next blog.

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The concept of “quality” is, of course, a matter of individual taste. That concept was tested a number of times in this show, starting in the Battle Rounds with the exit of many fantastic singers such as Butch Williams, Pamela Falcon, Giovanni Costello and others, and continued during the live shows with the highly questionable departures of Rüdiger, Percival, Rino, Ramona and yours truly. Indeed, many in Germany – rightly so, in my opinion – questioned the credibility of the show, given that it was supposed to be about “the voice”, and that skepticism was reflected in the declining ratings.

As it became clear who would be in the finale and the somewhat bizarre judging criteria (public telephone / SMS vote plus number of downloads sold, which were counted double) was established, it was apparent to many who could end up winning the title; my former team colleague Michael had such a commanding lead in the Download Charts over Ivy and my personal favorite Kim that it was almost inevitable that he would win, with either Max or Ivy in second place. Kim didn’t seem to have a chance.

As the show for underway, however, a transformation was underway. With every performance from Ivy and Kim, the inevitability of the show’s outcome became more and more unsure. Granted, all of the night’s performances were great (some were of course better than others, but that’s also a matter of taste), but the performances of these two women were indeed something special; in particular, Kim’s songs were performed with a passion and intensity that I’ve rarely seen from her, and I’ve known her for a long time.

It was very hard for me to contain my sense of joy as I learned the results of the voting, for a number of reasons both professional and personal. Not only did the German audience choose the two best singers left in the competition; consider that they were also:

- the last two females in the competition, and it’s been a number of years since Germany has had a female solo artist win a casting show;

- the youngest and the oldest competitors left;

- non-Germans;

- women of color;

- the last “real” amateur and pro singers

Personally, I wanted Kim to prevail (as everyone knows by now), but I’m just as happy that Ivy won and Kim was runner up, and it was the viewing audience that gave them their victories. Their achievement is a clear signal that the German television audience does indeed care about quality, despite what we have been led to believe by the media for so many years. For all of the sometimes negative critique that has been given to the show, it remains the best such reality-based show to appear on German television in many years, due to the quality of the candidates. It appears to have resonated with the public.

Could the TVOG finale have been more exciting or dramatic with other, more dynamic finalists? Who knows. One thing is clear, though; given all that has happened to me and others in this crazy journey through the casting show jungle, the right people came out on top in the end. Justice has been done.


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I’ve known Kim since 1995, when we were both active in the Eurodance scene. We met one night at a Sony label party in Krefeld (we were label mates at that time); I was with my project The Free, she was performing her first solo single. As most lasting friendships go, we did not hit it off immediately, but we both knew even then that our paths would always cross. Sure enough, it would be another two years before we would meet again. We had always been very friendly towards each other, but we wouldn’t become musically involved with each other until 2004, when I contacted her about performing with me.

It was at this show that Kim and I discovered how similar we were, both musically and personally. We talked for hours about our experiences in the German music business; our decisions to leave our home country to persue our dreams; the setbacks, disappointments and failures we’ve both experienced, the fierce determination we both shared to make our mark on the music world in general, as well as our love for cooking, family, science fiction (Kim is a nerd, just like me) and all things silly. Later on that year she called me for a job as background singer with a well known German pop / classic duo, and we spent four days together preparing for the show, simultaneously laying the foundation for what would become a deep, lasting friendship. That bond became even stronger three years later, as I was recording my first album with ‘iO’ (my band with the three musicians from the German rock band Guano Apes); I had written the song “The Last To Know” as a duet, and Kim was the only singer I wanted for this track. My dream to finally record a song with her became reality, and the process brought us even closer together.

When Kim called me and informed me about The Voice of Germany, I was very reluctant to be a part of it, based on my previous experiences with casting shows. It was only when she said to me, “I don’t want to do this alone” that I realized that this was our chance to show Germany what we were all about, together. We went through the audition phases, the Blind Auditions and the Battle phases together, always pushing each other to be better, to not give in to doubt or fear, to be the best we could be and still stay true to who we were.

When Rea Garvey sent me home in the first live show, I was of course hurt, but Kim was devastated. It was hard for me to witness how much my exit affected her, but as it was during the whole process, I tried to keep her spirits up and her focus on the task at hand. As the show progressed, all of the rage, disappointment and sadness I felt disappeared with each round Kim came further. Every time she is on stage, I truly feel like it’s me up there, and it feels good. The emotion she pours into every performance is a testament to her will to succeed, her passion as an artist and her beauty as a human being. We are mirror images of each other, as she always says; I’m the ‘male’ Kim, and she’s the ‘female’ Charles.

I will not be in the audience to support her on the final leg of her journey through The Voice of Germany, but I know that whatever the outcome, she has already won. Millions of people now know what only a handful of people have been aware of all along; that Kim Sanders is a creative force, a very gifted artist and a special human being. Words really can’t describe how proud I am of this amazing woman, and to be her friend is an honor. She’s the last of us pros in this show, and to me she personifies what is best about our business, and what it means to live out your dreams.

Kim Sanders, if anyone deserves to be proclaimed “The Voice of Germany”, it’s you. It’s within your reach, so take it, sis. For both of us.

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