After reading through my last few blog posts, I came to realize that the tone of my writings had become somewhat negative when describing my experiences of the past few months. Based on the feedback that I received, many people seem to have gotten the wrong impression from my post “Game Over”; some assumed that I was going to completely give up making music. Let me assure you: nothing could be further from the truth. In fact, I’m about to become more active than I’ve ever been.

One of the most important realizations I’ve had in a long time occurred at the time that I wrote “Game Over”; in order to sculpt a better future, you have to break the mold of the past. I was so fixated on trying to “make it” in the German music industry (the reason I left my home in America over 20 years ago), I had forgotten why I became a musician in the first place: to make music! My obsession with trying to find a “true believer” – someone in the the music industry machine who not only recognized my talent, but believed they could make money off of it – had kept me from my true calling.

I had discussions with some people who gave me a sobering assessment of my chances achieving a breakthrough in this business in Germany; no chance. Ironically, that alone was not the problem; I had always been aware of the disadvantages I had in trying to establish myself here as a pop star (my age, my personality, my versatility, etc.) The real kicker came when it was suggested to me by a potential manager that not only were my looks, talent, charm and personality “not enough to get the breakthrough” that I was looking for over here, but in order to get that breakthrough, I would have to return to making a style of music that I stopped making back it the 90s, in order to sound more “modern” and fit in the current music industry trends.

It was that assessment, as well as a series of disappointing setbacks at the hands of so-called “friends” already established in the industry that led me to the decision to abandon my goal of breaking into the German music business as a solo artist. I was always taught never to compromise myself as an artist just to fit in with what everyone thinks is cool and how people think I should sound, and I’ve spent my entire career up to this point following the advice of people who tried to make me into something I’m not, so deciding to let it go of my dream of making it, while difficult emotionally, was probably one of the best decisions I’ve ever made, because suddenly my mind and my heart was free for music again.

Breaking with the past helped me look into the future with a new pair of glasses. My optimism has been restored, and I’m creative again. I’m collaborating with more people, just enjoying the experience of making music, not as a job, but as an extension of me. Best of all; I’m rediscovering my instrument, exploring new ways to work with my voice. Of course I’m writing new material, and at the same time working hard to get my current material in the hands of as many people as possible. It only took a few verbal slaps in the face to achieve that. Thank you, universe!

Life is a 12-round boxing match; it’s only round four for me. Fight!



I look forward to your feedback, so please leave a comment below!

It came during my weekly teaching session. During my break I received a call that I had been waiting on for some time. As is so often the case in life , one prays for the best but expects, even counts on, the worst; my gut feeling told me that even though previous conversations with this person were from my perspective very promising [wishful thinking?], this conversation would have a negative outcome. Unfortunately, my gut was right.

For many artists, especially in the performing arts, one of the hardest things to cope with is the notion that people are not interested in you or what you do. Even worse: the knowledge that these people are indeed interested in you, but for one reason or another will not invest the time, energy or resources to help you further your career. It doesn’t matter if it’s the audience that one performs in front of, or the many entertainment industry ‘gatekeepers’ (managers, label bosses, producers, directors, agents, PR people, etc.) that can be the key to a successful career; artists need, even thrive on, attention. These gatekeepers are the ones who determine whether or not an artist gets this kind of attention, and if they do not believe in you, a career in the spotlight is nearly impossible to establish.

After years of trying to find such a support mechanism in the German music industry machine, a sad and inconvenient truth finally caught up with me: they’re not into what I have to offer.

No matter what I’ve done or how hard I’ve tried, the gatekeepers, movers and shakers in this industry don’t want me. It’s a lot like being in love with someone who doesn’t like you; no matter how hard you try, there’s nothing you can do to get them interested in you. The revelation of this truth last night was especially difficult to process, given that I’ve spent the past 15 years of my life trying to establish myself as a recording artist in this country, always telling myself that there is a market in Germany for the kind of music I make. [My pursuit of this dream is the main reason why I made Germany my permanent home.]

Last night’s conversation was the final piece of evidence that my belief and reality do not quite match up, and the reason for my decision to give up my dream of a career in the recording industry.

Does this mean that I will completely give up making music? Of course not! Quite the contrary; I’m more determined than ever to broaden my musical horizons and to continue to develop my skills. In my relentless pursuit of a place at the German music industry table, I become the musician I’ve always wanted to be, and for that I’m grateful. Thanks to the Internet, I can bring my passion directly to those who will appreciate it the most.

I’m at a point in life now where I have no further interest in begging for acceptance into a club that doesn’t want to offer me membership. I’m okay with that.

I look forward to your feedback, so please leave a comment !

While pondering those comments, my thoughts immediately went to a book I was reading during my time on the show, John Niven’s excellent “Second Coming”, in which God returns from vacation to find how horrible the plight of mankind is. He sends Jesus Christ back to earth to try and make things right; Jesus on Earth is a musician who lives in a commune and decides to take part in a casting show to spread God’s message.

What made the book so interesting for me at the time was how Niven perfectly described how casting / reality shows work behind the scenes; specifically, how contestants are portrayed to the viewing public, how the public is influenced into rooting for or against contestants in the form of the “home story” – the deliberate insight into the contestants’ private lives in order to drum up interest – and how the choice of song plays a critical role in the crafting of a contestant’s image. Jesus refused to be typecast by the shows producers; he went against everything that was suggested to him, from the way he dressed to the songs he performed in the show. He eventually was voted off the show in the quarterfinals, but became the most successful contestant to ever take part of the show, all because he stuck to his principles.

The combination of the book’s premise and Rea’s statement caused me to reevaluate myself in a way that I hadn’t done for a long time.

It took me many years to find out who I was musically, mostly through trial and error. In that time I learned how to survive, adapt, and grow as a musician and as a person. I’ve been able to present my talents to literally millions of people through my live shows and TV appearances. The portrayal of the smooth-yet-powerful balladeer in my rendition of “Love’s Divine” during TVOG was definitely who I am musically, but only one of my many different facets. The rocker persona portrayed in “Closer To The Edge” was another one.

When Rea said to me backstage earlier in the day, “I appreciate that you are being true to who you are instead of trying to win a casting show”, it caused me to ponder a deeper question; how far must one be willing to go in order to achieve a goal?

As the feedback rolled in after my exit and some people criticized my choice of song in the first live show and (falsely) attributed it to my early exit, I was confronted with not only that question but an even more personal one:

which has the highest priority; my desire to show who I was musically, or feeding the public’s already fixed notion of who I was, or better put: who they wanted me to be based on what they saw on TV?

You hear stories of how those in politics, business, sports, the arts and so on went through great sacrifices to order to achieve their success, and how once that level of success is achieved it is hard, if not impossible, to return to ones true self. Success hates change, which is why its important to establish one’s true identity early on, in this business or any other, in order to make any future changes less controversial.

A prime example of this phenomenon is the very talented singer / songwriter Stefanie Germanotta, aka Lady Gaga. She’s one of today’s biggest pop stars, but not because of her talent, rather due to the image that was crafted for her by her producer and record label; You never hear anyone in the press talk about her talent, only her over-the-top persona. That is something I never wanted to experience in my own career, because I’ve worked too hard on perfecting my skills as a musician only to have them reduced to a footnote in the pages of music history. Some would say ‘that’s how the game is played’. My question is, why?

How far would YOU go to reach your goals in life? I’d love to have your feedback!

To start off this post, let me just say that this has been probably one of the best summer’s on record for me personally. I went on vacation to another one of my childhood dream destinations: southern Spain. As a child, my parents went to Spain and told me great stories of their travels. Since then I’ve always been fascinated with the country (I speak a little Spanish), and although I’ve been to certain parts of Spain many times, this was the first time I’ve ever been on vacation on the spanish mainland. We were in the city of Torrox Costa, near Málaga, in an apartment 200 meters from the beach. Off the hook!

We visited the Alhambra Palace in Grenada (VERY impressive), the Cathedral in Seville (third largest catholic church in the world and burial site of Christopher Columbus), and the caves of Nerja. However, as impressive as those places were, the most fun I had was walking with my family along the boardwalk in the evenings, or playing games with them in our apartment. One really does take quality time with family for granted.

Here are the top 10 things I learned on my spanish summer vacation:

1. History teaches us that we don’t know nearly as much today as we think we do.
2. Of all the Latin-based languages, I love Spanish the most.
3. It’s amazing how a little sunshine can alter a person’s view of life.
4. Now I know why southern California looks the way it does.
5. Watching my kids fighting in the water was actually hilarious.
6. I love spanish yoga (aka siesta)
7. The difference in mentality between the people of northern and southern Spain is similar to the difference between those in northern and southern Germany.
8. The radio sucks everywhere.
9. Spanish food. ¡Olé!
10. My time in Spain was WAY too short.

Sadly, I had to cut my vacation short by one week. Why, you ask? That’s the other part of my amazing summer vacation. Stay tuned, and I’ll tell you all about it, very soon!

It’s been quite a long time since I’ve written here on my own website, but I’ve also done a lot of things over the past few months, most of which you already know about if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter. I’ve done lots of travelling, training, coaching, eating, recording, and living life. There’s a lot to tell you about, which is exactly what I’ll be doing during the final months of 2010.

So, why is this post called “The Final Countdown”? Simple; I’m in the final stages of completing my forthcoming CD, “Elements”. It’s a project that is actually a long time in the making, and I’m VERY proud of it, because it’s the result of all of my experiences over the last 5 years, packed into 12 songs. It is probably the best album I’ve done to date! I think you will like it.

Look for stories about my experiences in the recording studio, my summer vacation in the USA, and my time as a vocal coach on the german version of the casting show X-Factor, and more La-La Land adventures, all to be posted in the next few weeks. You’l definitely get a kick out of them!