Thankfully, my gigs on Thursday and Friday were a blast. The gig in the KingKa (our nickname for the King Kamehameha Club) was awesome as usual, especially considering that the club has been packed on Thursday night every week for the past 8 years; we worked hard to gain such a following, and it’s paying dividends; Thursday is the busiest night of the week for the club thanks to the band, and many of the higher paying gigs I perform all over Germany are a direct result of my appearances at the KingKa.

Friday I played at the Essen Convention Center (known in german as the “Messe”) for an event sponsored by the German Federation of Fitness Studios, known as the DSSV (Deutsche Sportstudio Verband), I was hired as the guest singer for the Freddy Wonder Combo, one of the busiest show bands in south Germany, with whom I performed last year in Wuppertal, together with a 40-piece orchestra. Of course I was stressed out, being that I had only performed once before with this band and we didn’t rehearse, but one of the advantages of playing within multiple pro musician circles is that we all end up having the same repertoire, thus making it easier to perform concerts without having to practice.

This band knows how to get a party going, so performing with them was a lot of fun, and ultimately less stressful for me. Especially entertaining was watching the bandleader Freddy drink beer out of the female lead singer’s shoe. The corniest thing I’ve seen on stage this year so far, and the crowd went crazy for it. I even saw a few people in the audience that I met years ago at other shows in other parts of the country, which is always a highlight for me in my travels. Of course there were very good looking people in the audience, but given that the majority of the crowd either worked at or owned fitness studios, it was hardly a surprise. Tight pants everywhere.

After the two very successful gigs, I arrived at the hotel and got what I had been longing for since the beginning of my gig blitz: a good night’s sleep.

So, what did I learn from the last two gigs?

1. I like trains a lot more than I thought I did.

2. I have a new appreciation for the phrase, “if you build it, they will come.”

3. Even in bad economic times, (most) people still just want to have a good time.

4. Nothing is more satisfying than watching total strangers dancing together on top of bars and tables Coyote Ugly style.

5. Half shirts or tops that show off the midsection should be banned for some people.

6. People who can dance love to show off that they can dance.

7. People who can’t dance love to show off that they can’t dance.

8. Guys with huge muscles don’t look as cool as I thought they did when I was younger.

9. Women with huge muscles (unfortunately) look even worse.

10. I really need to visit Spain more often.

11. Sleep is the most unappreciated human necessity. EVER.

There are generally three types of weddings that I perform at: weddings for “mere mortals”, meaning people who have normal jobs and are therefore not so lavish; weddings for rich people, usually business people who can afford to rent a big hall or other venue for their party; and weddings for really rich people, usually people who come from old money, families who are in big business, or are celebrities, therefore having their wedding parties on their own property, or in some cases in other countries. Today was a really wealthy people wedding, at a house (more like a country mansion) on top of a hill overlooking the Elbe River. The view was breathtaking, the party guests were all in great spirits, and although the gig itself started very late (at 1:00 AM!), I had a good time.

So, what did I learn at last night’s gig?

1. There’s a big difference between having money and having MONEY. My audience last night belonged in the latter category; when your family’s property is on the face of a huge hill overlooking the main waterway of Germany’s most expensive port city, you’ve got MONEY.

2. Old rich people party just as hard as young rich people, sometimes harder.

3. Having money doesn’t always equal having style, regardless of what the fashion media says. It’s always shocked me how some fashion designers are still in business; the way some of the guests last night were dressed reminded me why that’s the case. (NOTE TO FUTURE REALLY RICH PEOPLE WEDDING PARTY FEMALE GUESTS: Just because you can wear that ball gown doesn’t mean that you should.)

4. Rich newlyweds and their families are very warm and generous people (in most cases).

5. Slightly drunk rich newlyweds and their families can very pushy and obnoxious (not always, but often).

6. People who make presentations at wedding parties don’t really do so for the newlywed couple per se, rather to stroke their own egos and to give themselves a sense of accomplishment; the newlyweds just want to party and then go to bed.

7. I’m glad I’m with the band and not the catering service. Poor bastards.

8. The bigger and more expensive a wedding reception is, the more international it tends to be; the wealthier my clients are, the more guests from other countries show up.

9. The head of catering is almost always a jerk, at least to the the musicians.

10. I really LOVE Hamburg when the weather is good.

All in all everyone was happy (well, except the band members who had to drive 70 km at 5:00 AM to get home after the show) and the night was a success, which is really all the counts at the end of the day.