While pondering those comments, my thoughts immediately went to a book I was reading during my time on the show, John Niven’s excellent “Second Coming”, in which God returns from vacation to find how horrible the plight of mankind is. He sends Jesus Christ back to earth to try and make things right; Jesus on Earth is a musician who lives in a commune and decides to take part in a casting show to spread God’s message.

What made the book so interesting for me at the time was how Niven perfectly described how casting / reality shows work behind the scenes; specifically, how contestants are portrayed to the viewing public, how the public is influenced into rooting for or against contestants in the form of the “home story” – the deliberate insight into the contestants’ private lives in order to drum up interest – and how the choice of song plays a critical role in the crafting of a contestant’s image. Jesus refused to be typecast by the shows producers; he went against everything that was suggested to him, from the way he dressed to the songs he performed in the show. He eventually was voted off the show in the quarterfinals, but became the most successful contestant to ever take part of the show, all because he stuck to his principles.

The combination of the book’s premise and Rea’s statement caused me to reevaluate myself in a way that I hadn’t done for a long time.

It took me many years to find out who I was musically, mostly through trial and error. In that time I learned how to survive, adapt, and grow as a musician and as a person. I’ve been able to present my talents to literally millions of people through my live shows and TV appearances. The portrayal of the smooth-yet-powerful balladeer in my rendition of “Love’s Divine” during TVOG was definitely who I am musically, but only one of my many different facets. The rocker persona portrayed in “Closer To The Edge” was another one.

When Rea said to me backstage earlier in the day, “I appreciate that you are being true to who you are instead of trying to win a casting show”, it caused me to ponder a deeper question; how far must one be willing to go in order to achieve a goal?

As the feedback rolled in after my exit and some people criticized my choice of song in the first live show and (falsely) attributed it to my early exit, I was confronted with not only that question but an even more personal one:

which has the highest priority; my desire to show who I was musically, or feeding the public’s already fixed notion of who I was, or better put: who they wanted me to be based on what they saw on TV?

You hear stories of how those in politics, business, sports, the arts and so on went through great sacrifices to order to achieve their success, and how once that level of success is achieved it is hard, if not impossible, to return to ones true self. Success hates change, which is why its important to establish one’s true identity early on, in this business or any other, in order to make any future changes less controversial.

A prime example of this phenomenon is the very talented singer / songwriter Stefanie Germanotta, aka Lady Gaga. She’s one of today’s biggest pop stars, but not because of her talent, rather due to the image that was crafted for her by her producer and record label; You never hear anyone in the press talk about her talent, only her over-the-top persona. That is something I never wanted to experience in my own career, because I’ve worked too hard on perfecting my skills as a musician only to have them reduced to a footnote in the pages of music history. Some would say ‘that’s how the game is played’. My question is, why?

How far would YOU go to reach your goals in life? I’d love to have your feedback!

The events of 2009 has forced me to take a hard look at my life, my business and my future. 2008 was the year I started teaching, something I’d always talked about doing, but was frankly too scared to put into practice. Somehow I overcame my fear and now, after a full year of giving classes and workshops, I’ve realized that teaching is something that I really enjoy doing. The challenge of explaining my concepts of making music to students of all skill levels gives me a satisfaction that I wasn’t really prepared for. I’m glad I took up the challenge.

2009 was also the year I met two of my musical heroes, jazz keyboard player Jeff Lorber and Jean-Paul “Bluey” Maunick of the legendary UK jazz / soul band Incognito. To watch these two masters at work really helped me put my own musical aspirations back into focus. I also met some extremely talented musicians during not only my regular teaching gig at the Popakademie, but also as a guest instructor at the Academy of Music in Dinkelsbühl, where I had the pleasure of performing with my good friend Alex Auer for the first time in 4 years. I’ve worked with some fantastic musicians, writers and producers in 2009, both on stage and studio.

Less fantastic in 2009 was the saga of my rock band iO; though we started out the year with a kick-ass live concerts in Rabenau and Brno in the Czech Republic, the future of the band was placed in doubt as my bandmates informed me that they were reforming their old band Guano Apes to play a series of european festivals in the summer. When their tour was over, they informed me that they were going to work on a new CD as Guano Apes, which will all but kill the prospects of a future iO CD. That’s really a shame, since iO has such potential. However, we’re hopeful that we can come together some time this year to make music together…

So, what have I learned from 2009?

…which brings me to my list of things that I learned from 2009. I’ve always been a believer in the notion that one can always learn something out of any situation, no matter if it’s positive or negative. So, given all that I’ve experienced in ’09, heres my list of wisdom:

1. The show must indeed go on.

2. NEVER take things for granted.

3. Seeing life through only one lens is never a good thing.

4. If you think you’ve had too much, you probably have.

5. Sometimes, doing stuff you’ve always dreamed of doing is fantastic. Sometimes, it’s not.

6. Get your mind right, and the rest will take care of itself.

7. If it takes more than three days to write a song, something’s wrong with the song. Not always, though.

8. Not everything that tastes good is good.

9. The best thing about new things is that they sometimes help you to appreciate the old things.

10. Kids grow fast.

11. Making a plan and sticking to it are two TOTALLY different things.

12. The phrase “don’t hate the player; hate the game” is just as relevant now as it was in the early ‘90s.

13. Though you may be better than most people at what you do, there is ALWAYS someone who is better than you.

14. When two grown people of completely different viewpoints can’t have a civil conversation about anything, NOTHING will get done.

15. We don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone.

16. Going to bed angry sucks.

17. Fighting (in a relationship) can be good.

18. Sometimes, it’s better to just shut the f*ck up.

19. We all need balance in our lives.

20. It’s never too late to be the “you” you’ve always wanted to be.