The Eurovision Song Contest, the world’s largest music competition, is now over. The hype in Germany surrounding Lena’s performance is now died down, the amazement surrounding the choice of Azerbajan as the winner will continue for a while (I still don’t get that one…) As an American, I’ve always been fascinated by the spectacle of the ESC; the drama, the politics, the overall cheesiness of the whole thing. This year though, I was “lucky” enough to get a free ticket to see the show live. I’d always refused to watch it on TV and it’s not every day that one gets such expensive tickets for free, so I said, “what the hell” and I went. I must admit, though; I really enjoyed myself. No kidding. Here are my top ten coolest things about this year’s Eurovision Song Contest:

1. THE ATMOSPHERE. Being among over 30,000 people from 25 different countries in one venue, all there to celebrate music, is a great experience. Of course some songs were better than others, but overall the energy in the audience was very positive.

2. THE STAGE SHOW. I’ve been to hundreds of concerts in my life, and I’ve never been more impressed with the staging, lighting, and overall visuals as I was with the ESC. I think the appropriate word is “amazing”. Most impressive was the speed with which all the acts were set up to perform. Of course, with so many acts (25 performers in under 2 hours) it was obvious that everything was done half-playback, but there were no technical problems. For a live show being broadcast around the world, that’s pretty impressive.

3. THE “POSTCARDS”. The announcement of each song via video “postcards” was in my opinion brilliant. The way each presentation was set in Germany, yet featured people from the competing countries living and working in specific German cities was marketing genius, because it presented Germany as a truly multi-cultural country. Given the debates that have been going on in Europe over the last few years regarding immigration, it was refreshing to see a country actually embracing their multi-cultural status.

4. THE OPENING NUMBER. I admit, I HATED the winning song from 2010, Lena’s “Satellite”. Absolutely. Hated. It. That being said, The way Stefan Raab and crew performed the song in Big Band-style, was very entertaining. It made me actually like the song. Imagine that.

5. THE HOSTS. I actually think that Stefan Raab, Anke Engelke and Judith Rakers did a great job hosting the show. They were funny, engaging, and their timing was good. They also showed that Germans can actually be entertaining to an international audience.

Overall, I’d say that the Eurovision Song Contest was very interesting. Of course there were some negative things as well, which I’ll talk about in the next post.

“You are such a great singer!” said the slightly drunken woman to me after the band left the stage.
“Thank you very much,” I replied, politely.
“Please sing one more song. For me.” she pleaded.
“I’m sorry, but the show is over, and we’re not allowed to go back on stage.”
“Please?!? I’ll give you fifty bucks if you go back on stage right now and sing a song for me.” The stage was dark, the crew was already packing up the equipment.
“Uhh, no.” I replied, rather annoyed. “Besides, how did you get backstage in the first place?!?”

The above situation actually happens quite often; I’m often offered money to perform longer than is stated in my contract. The question for me: is such a request a compliment to my skill as an entertainer, or an insult to the hard work and discipline I put into my chosen line of work?

There are two schools of thought on whether or not being an entertainer qualifies as a real job: those who are actually in the profession, who naturally see what they do as the epitome of entrepreneurship and self reliance, and those in the audience who see performers as carefree souls, wandering aimlessly from one show to another, with no real responsibilities; we do it for fun, thus it can’t be a “real job”.

It’s that second group of people who are usually the ones who ask the questions that most of us working musicians tend to hate, like “So, what do you do for a living?” or “Do you earn enough money doing this?” or usually tend to start every conversation with “Well, I used to play in a band, too”. (word of advice: NEVER start a conversation with a musician with this line: that will keep you from looking like a total idiot.) Given that entertainment is something people turn to as an escape from the monotony of daily life, they tend to see those who provide the entertainment as something different or somehow exotic, sometimes out of admiration or jealousy. This characterization, be it positive or negative, has the unfortunate effect that it causes people to not see entertainment and those who provide it as something to be taken seriously, even in situations that are very serious, like rallies, demonstrations for certain causes and political events. Also playing a role in this attitude toward performers is the fact that people generally always have an opinion on things they aren’t capable of doing very well themselves (if at all), thus empowering them to offer commentary on a job like that of an entertainer with a certain sense of superiority, regardless of how famous the entertainer may (or may not) be. A prime example: the notion that the public has a right to know about the private lives of celebrities. The idea that people can have a profession that is fun and pays well is a hard concept for many people to swallow, thus lending credence to the belief that working in the entertainment field is not real work.

In fact, being an entertainer can be a very complex business. Professional entertainers at a certain level who don’t have a staff (like me) often need skills in the fields of organization, communication, financial management, and logistics in order to work effectively; I not only go on stage and sing, I’m also the manager, booking agent, travel agent, secretary, contract lawyer and accountant. It’s only when the workload becomes too great that many working musicians get managers or agents. We do things in our jobs that many people go to school and get a degree to learn how to do, which is why I tend to get a little irate when situations such as the one mentioned above take place, because I see it as an affront to the long hours, hard work and dedication I’ve put into my craft over the years. For someone to offer me a measly fifty bucks to do one more song is somewhat of an insult; it’s like having your boss ask you to stay an extra hour or two at work to type something after you’ve been writing a report all day, because he likes the font you used in the report you just finished. The difference being that an office worker would probably lose their job if such a situation came up and they did not comply. In fact, I often do get such requests from my clients in the form of an extra encore or an entire set, but I’m usually offered a lot more than fifty bucks.

In the end it all boils down to the perception of what constitutes “having a job”. Despite what many people might think, being an entertainer is indeed a real job, and, deserves to be treated as such, thank you very much.

So, what did I learn from last week’s show?

1. I have a new appreciation for security personnel.

2. Using your recently deceased mother as an excuse to pressure a singer to do an encore is NOT CUTE.

3. Playing a near flawless show with musicians you haven’t seen in many years is a testament to the talent and skill of those musicians.

4. Free food truly does rock, even if it doesn’t taste that good.

5. Free drinks rock even more.

6. If you can’t take no for an answer, don’t ask the question.

7. Patience has its limits.

It’s been a few days since my last road trip, and it’s often difficult to find themes that make each and every gig experience unique, because frankly, most of my shows follow similar patterns. What I like to report on are certain subtleties I notice at each show or block of shows. One of the more interesting subtleties is the observation of how people tend to party during certain times of the year. With summer just around the corner, people are definitely getting into party mode. How did this change in attitude affect my job on this latest road trip? Let’s take a look.

Gig 1: May 20 – Session Werk, Walldorf

I’ve performed in many, many venues in Germany over the last 15 years or so; from bars, clubs and restaurants, to city and village festivals, to huge open-air concerts with thousands of people. From seaside hangouts to ski resorts in the Alps, I’ve played almost everywhere, especially in Baden-Württemberg (where I live), which makes it hard to believe that there are quite a few venues that I have never performed in. One such place was the bar belonging to the well-known music store Session Music, located in Walldorf, near Heidelberg. I’d been asked to perform there with the house band off and on for five years, but I never had time until recently, when friend and colleague Stefan Breuer asked me to perform there with his band. The emcee of the the night was another colleague, a singer named Gonzo. I knew most of the musicians in the house band from other bands that I’d performed with, but this was the first time I played with this particular formation, and we had no time to rehearse together, which made me a little nervous. The interesting thing to me was how full the club was (it’s a huge venue), despite being hot outside, a holiday and the UEFA Cup Finals being on TV.

Gig 2: May 21 – King Kamehameha Club, Frankfurt am Main

My spot. I LOVE this club, Especially in the summer. It was packed (as usual), and this particular night there were three front singers, which is rare. Considering that it was also very warm outside on this evening (even at eleven o’clock) and there are four other clubs on the same street as the KingKa, having so many people on that night was truly amazing. Again, it’s a testament to the hard work we put into making Thursday night a success.

Gig 3: May 22 – Restaurant Nizza, Frankfurt am Main

Change of pace (or so I thought): A wedding reception in a fancy restaurant on the banks of the Main River. A rather small gathering, only about 50 to 60 guests, all extremely stylish, with the ladies in their gowns and the men in either suits or tuxedos. What they lacked in comfort, however, they more than made up for in endurance, partying well into the early morning, way after we had finished our show (the father of the bride was particularly amusing). Even at 3:00 AM, the weather was still warm enough to engage in various outdoor activities.

Gig 4: May 23 – City Festival, Bad Homburg

My favorite gig of my little tour; a duo gig in one of the town squares of Bad Homburg, just me on vocals and my colleague Jan Stürmer on acoustic guitar. Very relaxed yet very challenging; our job was to entertain a large group of spectators (up to a thousand people at any given time) over a three hour time span using just our voices and a single instrument. That is music-making in it’s purest form, and we were successful in our mission.

Gig 5: May 24 – Radio RPR1 Family Festival, Bingen

After having performed four days in a row, I was exhausted. The last thing my body needed was to perform outside on the hottest day of the year. Being the soldier that I am, however, that’s exactly what I did. My final show of the week was in Bingen, a city on the banks of the Rhine River. It was 33° Celsius (91° Fahrenheit) outside, which is very hot by german standards. The bad part: we had to perform four sets during the day, starting at 1:30 in the afternoon. The festival was not very well attended, perhaps due to the extreme heat.

Summer Madness

What all five shows had in common was the effect the excellent weather had on people’s ability to enjoy themselves. Sunshine and warm temperatures are known to activate feelings of happiness and pleasure in humans; it’s no coincidence that more alcohol is sold, more concerts are attended, and more relationships are either begun or made permanent through marriage in the warm-weather months than the cold-weather months.

Unfortunately, it also tends to deactivate our sense of fashion, especially color coordination, in many cases. In that respect, summer-like weather also deactivates our sense of shame, which can be a blessing or a curse, depending on your point of view. I’ve been witness to people dressing in ways I’ve only laughed about on really bad sketch comedy shows or soft porn movies on cable TV. Simply AMAZING.

So, what have I learned from my latest road trip?

1. NEVER book a hotel room in a big city on the side of the building facing the street.

2. If you’re confident in your abilities, it doesn’t matter if new to a situation or not.

3. The warmer it is outside, the more willing people are to make total fools of themselves.

4. The passage of time is relative when you’re in good spirits.

5. Just because it’s warm outside doesn’t mean that the party’s dead inside.

6. Take time to appreciate not only what you do, but where you do it.

7. Sandals and socks are NOT CUTE.

8. Big t-shirts and sport leggings are WORSE.

9. If you’re going to wear a sleeveless top and sport leggings, at least be in shape.

10. Just when you think you’ve done it all, you quickly realize that you haven’t.

Judging by what I’ve experienced on this latest road trip, it’s going to be a very interesting summer indeed.

I feel like the gang in the movie “The Warriors” must have felt as they fought their way through the streets of New York, desperately trying to get back to the comfort and safety of their home turf; they had to endure numerous hardships until they got back home (the movie was reportedly the basis for the hit song from the Beastie Boys, “No Sleep ‘Til Brooklyn”). The same thing could be said about my last two days on the road, albeit in a far more positive context.

It was a typical two-day blitz; Thursday afternoon I take the train to Mannheim (about 150 km, or 95 miles from where I live) to my teaching job at the Popakademie, teach until about 9 PM, take the train to Frankfurt to my regular gig at the King Kamehameha Club, one of Germany’s most popular clubs. (MENTAL NOTE: Do people even say “discotheque” or “disco” anymore? I hope not.) Then I take the train back to Mannheim at 2 AM, sleep in my hotel room a couple of hours, teach in the morning, and take the train to my next gig, concluded with the long train ride back home. This time my gig was in Essen, which is a 2 1/2 hour train ride from where I teach. Having to make an unplanned trip to the eye doctor on Friday due to an infection only made my two-day blitz that much more stressful.

Thankfully, my gigs on Thursday and Friday were a blast. The gig in the KingKa (our nickname for the King Kamehameha Club) was awesome as usual, especially considering that the club has been packed on Thursday night every week for the past 8 years; we worked hard to gain such a following, and it’s paying dividends; Thursday is the busiest night of the week for the club thanks to the band, and many of the higher paying gigs I perform all over Germany are a direct result of my appearances at the KingKa.

Friday I played at the Essen Convention Center (known in german as the “Messe”) for an event sponsored by the German Federation of Fitness Studios, known as the DSSV (Deutsche Sportstudio Verband), I was hired as the guest singer for the Freddy Wonder Combo, one of the busiest show bands in south Germany, with whom I performed last year in Wuppertal, together with a 40-piece orchestra. Of course I was stressed out, being that I had only performed once before with this band and we didn’t rehearse, but one of the advantages of playing within multiple pro musician circles is that we all end up having the same repertoire, thus making it easier to perform concerts without having to practice.

This band knows how to get a party going, so performing with them was a lot of fun, and ultimately less stressful for me. Especially entertaining was watching the bandleader Freddy drink beer out of the female lead singer’s shoe. The corniest thing I’ve seen on stage this year so far, and the crowd went crazy for it. I even saw a few people in the audience that I met years ago at other shows in other parts of the country, which is always a highlight for me in my travels. Of course there were very good looking people in the audience, but given that the majority of the crowd either worked at or owned fitness studios, it was hardly a surprise. Tight pants everywhere.

After the two very successful gigs, I arrived at the hotel and got what I had been longing for since the beginning of my gig blitz: a good night’s sleep.

So, what did I learn from the last two gigs?

1. I like trains a lot more than I thought I did.

2. I have a new appreciation for the phrase, “if you build it, they will come.”

3. Even in bad economic times, (most) people still just want to have a good time.

4. Nothing is more satisfying than watching total strangers dancing together on top of bars and tables Coyote Ugly style.

5. Half shirts or tops that show off the midsection should be banned for some people.

6. People who can dance love to show off that they can dance.

7. People who can’t dance love to show off that they can’t dance.

8. Guys with huge muscles don’t look as cool as I thought they did when I was younger.

9. Women with huge muscles (unfortunately) look even worse.

10. I really need to visit Spain more often.

11. Sleep is the most unappreciated human necessity. EVER.