So, I get to the gig at about three o’clock in the afternoon, a beautiful spring day in Blankenese, a wealthy suburb of Hamburg. My show last night was a wedding party at a private residence; a typical job for me, and a very lucrative one. I perform at wedding parties at least 20 – 30 times a year. Based on the location and my previous experiences performing at weddings in Hamburg, this particular show had the potential to be a good one.

Among the many types of jobs I perform, I have to admit that I enjoy playing at weddings, because if you perform well, the show becomes a very memorable experience for the newlywed couple; to this day I have couples for whom I have performed come to me and tell me how much they enjoyed my show. I’ve even had couples who later divorced thank me for playing at their wedding, saying that my performance was the highlight of their entire marriage!

There are generally three types of weddings that I perform at: weddings for “mere mortals”, meaning people who have normal jobs and are therefore not so lavish; weddings for rich people, usually business people who can afford to rent a big hall or other venue for their party; and weddings for really rich people, usually people who come from old money, families who are in big business, or are celebrities, therefore having their wedding parties on their own property, or in some cases in other countries. Today was a really wealthy people wedding, at a house (more like a country mansion) on top of a hill overlooking the Elbe River. The view was breathtaking, the party guests were all in great spirits, and although the gig itself started very late (at 1:00 AM!), I had a good time.

So, what did I learn at last night’s gig?

1. There’s a big difference between having money and having MONEY. My audience last night belonged in the latter category; when your family’s property is on the face of a huge hill overlooking the main waterway of Germany’s most expensive port city, you’ve got MONEY.

2. Old rich people party just as hard as young rich people, sometimes harder.

3. Having money doesn’t always equal having style, regardless of what the fashion media says. It’s always shocked me how some fashion designers are still in business; the way some of the guests last night were dressed reminded me why that’s the case. (NOTE TO FUTURE REALLY RICH PEOPLE WEDDING PARTY FEMALE GUESTS: Just because you can wear that ball gown doesn’t mean that you should.)

4. Rich newlyweds and their families are very warm and generous people (in most cases).

5. Slightly drunk rich newlyweds and their families can very pushy and obnoxious (not always, but often).

6. People who make presentations at wedding parties don’t really do so for the newlywed couple per se, rather to stroke their own egos and to give themselves a sense of accomplishment; the newlyweds just want to party and then go to bed.

7. I’m glad I’m with the band and not the catering service. Poor bastards.

8. The bigger and more expensive a wedding reception is, the more international it tends to be; the wealthier my clients are, the more guests from other countries show up.

9. The head of catering is almost always a jerk, at least to the the musicians.

10. I really LOVE Hamburg when the weather is good.

All in all everyone was happy (well, except the band members who had to drive 70 km at 5:00 AM to get home after the show) and the night was a success, which is really all the counts at the end of the day.